My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He passed out mid-signature
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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