I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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