Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
