wanna go halves on a baby?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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