Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
