I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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