Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
