Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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