Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
