Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
