whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
