are you still at the devil's house?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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