you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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