So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
