Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
