From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize