singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
