do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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