No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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