Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
