so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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