so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
