when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
