Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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