you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
