How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?