she woke up with a sticky ear
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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