I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
