Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I currently don't understand fingers.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
