my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love you. Go after that dick
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
