He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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