how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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