God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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