as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think your dad took our porno
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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