is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
