i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize