ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
