i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
