he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
