If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
