i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
