pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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