just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize