I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
