My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
