Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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