so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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