Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
