i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
try to milk me bitch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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