I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
