So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my sisters under your porch take her home
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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