Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
sarcasm needs its own font
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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