I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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