apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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