Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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