also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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