So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
