I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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