If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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