how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
