i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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