you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
