I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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